Zombie Attack in Florida
My post Zombie Apocalypse continues to be one of the top three all time viewed posts on my site. Not wanting to argue with success and finding the following news story on The Blaze yesterday I could not resist revisiting the Zombie topic in an unabashed use of real news twisted into another send up to Zombies and including gratuitous violence.
- Posted on May 27, 2012 at 12:17pm by Madeleine Morgenstern
According to police sources, a road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away. Meanwhile, a woman also saw the incident and flagged down a police officer who was in the area.
The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away. When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.
In the vein of thought that the moon landing was ‘faked’; what makes us think that the news media and police really want us to know what really happened? Sure, blame it on cocaine! The Herald printed that investigators believed it might be; “cocaine psychosis” — a “drug-induced craze that bakes the body internally and often leads the affected to strip naked and try to cool off.” Yah, right, I’ve seen the Zombie movies! You and I know what is really going on here.
In Madeleine Morgenstern‘s story she quotes; Larry Vega said he witnessed the attack, writing to Local 10, “I stopped a City of Miami police officer and informed him that a homeless man was killing another person by biting and ripping his face to death.”
Vega also said, “The police officer confronted the aggressor, and he was like a rabid dog and confronted the officer. Then the officer shot the person four times.”
Note to police; every Zombie hunter knows only a brain destroying head shot will stop a Zombie. Maybe Homeland Security needs to start Zombie Terrorist training program!
Then according to the reports they take the victim, in critical condition, to the hospital for treatment. Probably no isolation ward, no guards so when he wakes up he starts eating others! If you are in a Miami hospital ….. RUN!
On a somewhat related thought; I was at the store the other day and my wife was looking at clothes. No… I was in the magazine section! I ran across a new magazine in the rack….had to buy it….Zombie Nation premiere issue. You should be able to find it at the news stand in the gun section. My wife says I’ve had my head buried in it since I got it. Ignore the picture she took.
If you are into Zombies definitely spend the $8.99 (U.S and Canada) There are some good articles on firearms and accessories and I had no idea so many serious manufacturers were jumping on the Zombie train with specialized products. I had no idea EOTECH had a new site out with a bio-hazard reticle. Several of the articles are definitely translatable to home defence and then there are some tongue in cheek pages on Zombie attacks.
Given the problems in Miami it should be required reading for the Miami Police Department!
The centerfold is a tear out Zombie Nation Target Poster that I thought would look really great on the office wall….my lovely wife had a different opinion, but then I don’t think she believes in Zombies either. I am thinking about putting it in the garage so I can scare the daylights out of myself if I go out there in the middle of the night.
Watch your back!
- Zombie Apocalypse (5gsandacupofjoe.net)
- Zombies in Miami? Naked Man Killed by Police After “Eating the Face Off” His Victim (dreadcentral.com)
- Humans Are Eating Humans (afteramerica.wordpress.com)
Posted on May 27, 2012, in Humor, World Events and tagged humor, Miami Police Department, preparedness, survival, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombie hunter, Zombie meals, Zombie Nation. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.